Poetic Therapy

End of the Road

2010-02-19T23:43:00.005Z

The end of the road is not always the road most traveled
It is possible to have smooth walkways and straight lines
The fastest way to success
But I don't want it to go too fast so I don't mind the spiraling journeys
And the bumps along the way
If it makes it last

The end of the road is not always said in song
It can be spoken
Seen
Tasted
Heard
Coming to the end of the road in silence is a way I hope we bypass
Take another route
I won't mind the extra time

The end of the road is not necessarily the end of the journey
Or the song
Or the conversation
It can lead to a highway of new possibilities
Endless tarmac as far as the eye can see
Possibilities are endless
Just like with you and me
Is it possible we won't end this?
Conversation

This one is a bit different
Not the ones of the past
With clarity I pursue it
At the same time I know it can't last
Not exactly like this...

Today I Remember

2009-10-29T01:26:00.003Z

Wow, today I remember why I love music and why I love writing and how I love writing to you and for you... All it took was a visit from my cousin and a singing session before I was back here how many months later because I still want you to have a catalog of feelings from me to you to replace all those time in the past and future where I will be, or was speechless. Those times which are so far in between. Oh and how can I forget? That song 'Love' by Musiq Soulchild. Those words I first heard way before I met you, they still bring a tear to my eye once in a while. Though the tear doesn't drop it's nice to know that I have what's he's talking about...

So for now just this note to you, perhaps I will be back with inspiration, otherwise I will just leave with love from me to you... <3

I Need That...

2009-04-16T01:09:00.003+01:00

I need to release so bad I'm using my boyfriend's laptop as he cooks. We had a heartbreaking conversation, will probably elaborate on my other blog 'Therapy' later. In short after 16 long months the next year seems uncertain. A break-up seems definite... but for all the wrong reasons... So the following is what my heart says right now...

I want unforgettable love
The kind that people envy you for

A fighting love
One that grips me like your powerful hugs
The ones that only you give that warm me right through
Those meltimg hugs

I want that love
The one that keeps you smiling through the day and warm through the night

That love that keeps you safe when you're apart and pampered when you're together

That love that sings as the sun rises but doesn't fade with the sunset

A love so deep it rattles your bones and feeds your hunger

That breathless love that gives me the need to bring out my inhaler and puff deeply (and yes I do really have asthma)

That intoxicating love that beats all other poison
Its both the toxin and the cure

I want that R'n'B love that keeps you company at night and makes you smile when they get your feelings right
Makes you cry when they're hurting with you
Makes you sad when he/she is not with you

I just want that love
Need that love
Where is that love?

Of all the things money can buy
Why can't it buy this most essential?
This most wanted?
This most precious?

Why can't I lift it up into my shopping cart along with my bread and milk?
Or wear it like my favourite sweater
Or watch it sparkle off my earlobes like my favorite earings?

Hold me tight and tell me you love me because only those words sound right coming from you
I don't want to hear it from anyone else

In Confidence

2009-02-06T23:03:00.004Z

In comfort you lay across my legs
Stretched out but no movement
Your intensity is directed at what you're watching at the moment
The gaze is not directed at me
But thats ok
I'm past that stage of insecurity where every look away from me is like you're running away

I know that later on when its quiet and all our friends are gone it will be all about me again
Not in selfishness
But in confidence that we will spend precious moments together
Before the hustle and bustle of life
And before the complications of our separate "issues"
If that time is not available a stolen kiss will do till our next opportunity

We're at the point where our communication is strong
So strong
I can read you like my favorite book
Like the textbooks I so easily ignore
Not only in your presence, but in my general nature
And your literacy is amazing
You can read me through walls and time
And in all moods you can make me smile

In confidence I know so much yet so little
Every day is a new page in our book of life
Unedited, unscripted, and open
I don't want to see the end of this book
It's too good to put down

So in confidence in these feelings I have
In the man that you are
I write this little note on a new page to you as I glance over the top of my laptop at you
With a little smile on my face
In confidence you are here to stay

Goodnight Love,
Love Therapy xxx

Dear Boo

2009-01-11T04:48:00.002Z

Dear Boo,

My thoughts about you are as long as the days flows; second to second, minute to minute, hour to hour
I can't seem to get you out of my head
Holiday time gives me too much time to sit and wander
And I always wander your way

If you were to know these things now what would you say?

My feelings for you seem unreal
I'm overpowered by them and don't know how to act
You seem so controlled compared to me
Am I just an act?
Waiting for my curtain call
Looking for applause at a wonderful performance?

I don't think so
So what is this?

Perhaps when the holidays are over I say to myself
But I know this is not true
We are too close in so many ways
It would be hard to distance myself
And I don't want to distance myself
So does this make the pain self inflicted?
Or is the plain a pleasure in disguise?
An unfair trade to a rarity in life?

For now I will leave time to tell.

Love,
Therapy xxx

Here to Stay

2009-01-10T05:36:00.004Z

I speak to you in a manner I would not otherwise speak to you, Love
A language that we do not dare to interpret
The sign language and freeze frames suit us fine
For now

I watch you in a manner you're too familiar with, Love
Watching you
Intent on penetrating that deepest part of you
Only my eyes can see

Only my ears can hear
That distinguished rhythm
Like the drums you long to beat
And the rhythm serves us well
I long to dance along
I love to dance along
I'm sure you'll let me

I long to taste the vision in front of me
The vision that no one sees as clearly as I do
With insight beyond the use of spectacles, contacts, and laser vision
But we have not reached the point of tasting
So my eyes and ears remain overwhelmed
And my tongue stays unsatisfied with its speech

Your smell quickens my pulse
Accelerates my senses
My body rages in the tease
The signature you leave behind
And my nose dances till you return
Delighted you left a bit of you behind
As am I

I fear to reach out and touch you
As if you were a dream that may vanish
But your arms push those fears away
And I am safe
I sense that you are here to stay
I sense that you are here to stay

Thirteenth Month

2009-01-09T02:57:00.001Z

The confidence I built escapes me along with my pride and sanity as I sit and wait for the comforts I know so well
No one comes
No assurance to keep me warm so the cold breeze of doubt envelopes me and the shiver runs deep and hard
It's easy to be cold when you're lonely

The independence taught to so many generations of women before me, upon which so much of my pride was built collapses under me
I can only hope it's temporary
A fleeting second while I regain consciousness
But I'm left instead to fumble through the darkness in that same cold
For the warmth that was occasionally found in those rare moments I once knew
From you
I fall ungracefully

I fail to rise as quickly as expected from the caliber of women I originate from
The women who feel no pain
But rather continue on trough the cold
Unaffected
I lack their resources
I lack their quick response
Instead I inspect the wounds
No cut or scrape can equal such pain found in this new place
I hold on tight to this new location wanting to let go
And will my resolve to take over

But the courage has been long gone